You and the World

What can I offer you or the world? My unremarkable personality, which impresses nobody. My mind, which has stopped ticking for quite some time. My physical being which works without tiring trying to prove itself that it has a long way to go before it collapses. My silence, which has increased through the years and will continue to do so. My unfulfilled desires which rages within me but has no outlet to express itself. My calm exterior which was alien to me some years back but now is a friend. My moodiness, which has become second nature to me. My fears that everything is passing by without giving me a second glance and it would be too late before I make anything notice me. I cannot give you any of those which you or the world likes except the things which nobody notices anyway. My care, my love, my forgiving nature, my ever changing priorities, which include you and the world first and then me. So if you have to go away, I wouldn’t be able to stop you or the world because these might not be the things you or the world needs since big time achievers are the flavour of every season. I am no achiever but at least I know what I have gained in my lifetime. You and the world even if it was for a short time.

Each Day

Each day is a revelation. Each day reminds me of what a fool I have been. Each day reminds me of the betrayals. Each day also reminds me of the lucky escape I have had. Each day reminds me of the scars of betrayal and the ultimate healing. Each day reminds me not to lose faith and trust again. Each day shows me the divine in humanity. Each day reminds me of my vulnerability and strength. Each day reminds me to laugh and never to cry. Each day reminds me of bigger problems others face. Each day reminds me of the Big Guy who looks over me and never lets me down. Each day is such a blessing that I need to thank those who remind me that I am indeed fortunate.

Three little words

Falling sick. Remembering. Three little words. Makes me feel happy. Sad. Am touched. Hurt. Happy. Depressed. This is what I want. Don’t want. I have it. But I don’t. I can touch it. I can’t hold it. Arms hurt. Empty. Heavy. Those smooth cheeks. Dimpled smile. Sweet. My hair. Her fist. My neck. Her cheeks. My chest. Her head. My eyes. Her face. Near. Yet far. Forever. Never. Maybe. Hoping. Waiting. Sometime. Three little words. Mine. Happy ever after.

Promise

“Why do people break their promises?” She asked.
I looked at her wondering what she was getting at.
“What did I do?” I asked in return.
“Oh nothing just… are promises like New Year resolutions which can be made on the eve of the New Year and promptly broken on the New Year’s day?”
That started me thinking. Right she was. Was it so casual that it had no meaning? A momentary weakness or an opportunity one cashes on?
I have made promises which I have kept to the best of my ability.
Is it easier on your conscience to lead someone on and then look straight in the eye and lie about it? Shrug looking away.
Questions that I would not know the answer to. Looking around me I looked at the people who are close to me and asked them did I ever break a promise to them. No replies just perplexed stares. “Isn’t that the norm”, the eyes asked. “Are u being weird again?”
My friend if I have broken any promises to you I really apologise because that is not my intention. I strongly believe that promises are meant to be kept. Probably that’s why I don’t make New Year resolutions. Not worth it because I can’t keep those myself.

For You Aishu

This is for you Aishu when you visit me and then go away.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away
Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gonna stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away
And I know, I know...
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness everyday
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away

------------------------Bill Withers